Miriam Rupley remembers her late uncle Timothy Patrick McDermott who was a big part of her family. 

"He’s a big man so he had a big presence, big voice, big smile. and his laugh," she remembered. Every time you heard his laugh, you couldn’t help but to just laugh with him."

His big personality made his sudden absence in her family’s life that much harder to bear. 

Rupley lost her uncle to suicide 15 years ago a day after Thanksgiving. 

"We had no idea he was going through something so hard. he was just always smiling, laughing and joking," she said. "This happened the day after Thanksgiving. We had a huge family gathering and he was just playing with the kids, playing dodgeball and talking to everybody. He spent a few minutes with me to tell me he’s proud of me, and to keep doing what I'm doing, and to take care of my daughter."

She says she didn’t realize until months later that this was his way of saying goodbye. 

"The hardest part was I was the one that found him," Rupley said. "I still see it every time I close my eyes. it’s still fresh in my mind."  

And just as she was beginning to heal, her family hit with another loss two years ago. 

"My cousin took his life," she said. "And it was hard again. it's like you move forward and get knocked back down."

While it’s hard to find blessings when lives are taken too soon, she found hope in kindness.

"My blessing that I found is that it has helped me become a kinder person," Rupley said. "I'm more careful with how I talk to people because I don’t know if what I say could push someone over the edge. you just never know."

Whether it’s random acts like opening doors or simply saying hello, one action at a time she’s moving a step forward for herself and others. 

"If I can just myself be kind, teach my children to be kind, and we spread it, that’s going to go a long way," Rupley said. 

It’s why she’s sharing her story– so others will know they are not alone. 

 

Like Laling Hightower, who shares her experience with suicide hoping to break the stigma.

"My whole life was in this marriage so when it was falling apart, I thought what’s wrong with me? So I just believed in my marriage so why was my marriage breaking? My existence was in this marriage," she said. "You know this pain I'm going through is just so painful that I just wanted it to stop. so I tried to overdose to stop the pain."

Struggling through the painful memory, she shares she found hope in prayer, family and Rainbows for all Children, a nonprofit peer support group for those experiencing a life-altering crisis. 

Now Hightower is helping others find hope. 

"I learned some techniques with rainbows. and we have a ministry called Post G," she said. "We help inmates. I have inmates who call who feel like sometimes there’s no hope. but god has a plan for each and every one of us, so if we just pray he’ll lead us there."

She started Post G ministry three years ago where she writes letters to inmates who are thinking of suicide to keep the conversation going. 

It’s conversation and support that Life Works Guam and Rainbows for All Children Executive Director Marie Halloran says is crucial in preventing suicide.

"If you have a family or friend that is supportive, then that could help you a lot. and listening to Laling’s story and to Miriam, they had people that could help them," she said. "Just imagine about others who don’t have anybody."

She reminds the community that help is three numbers away: 988. 

Guam Behavioral Health and Wellness Center’s Suicide and Crisis Lifeline operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and provides confidential support through phone, text and chat to those in distress.